The Top 11 Entries in Bill Gates’s Diary

From: The Top Five List humor mailing list

11. Invited entire tech-support department to play golf. Brought Melissa to complete the foursome.

10. Steve Jobs started work today. The silverware looks great, but he doesn’t do windows — yet.

9. The baby cries constantly. Maybe I’ll buy Fisher-Price.

8. Bought my first Macintosh. It’s sooooo cute!

7. Good day. Found over 15 bucks’ worth of soda cans in the trash bins outside Microsoft headquarters.

6. Bad day. Ellison sent back the heads of two of the three hitmen I hired, along with a note saying he ate the third one whole.

5. Still ahead of Murdoch and Eisner. Yes!

4. Reminder: 35-cent Snapple coupon expires in two days!

3. Memo to self: Next time, when my wife says we need to buy china, she means dishes.

2. Ran into Demi and Bruce. Upped my offer to a billion dollars.

and the Number 1 Entry in Bill Gates’s Diary…

1. Seventh day: rested.

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